


:||:

by elijahking (orphan_account)



Series: Merciless [1]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Body Sharing, Child Death, Child Suicide, Depression, Dreams and Nightmares, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, PTSD, Repetition, Spoilers - No Mercy Route, Suicide, This is sad as shit, Unreliable Narrator, ahaha, angst up the wazoo, broken prose, but the player is a lil shit, constant changing in pov, forced choices, not so much that as narrator is a neutral entity, okay anyway, or - Freeform, player vs narrator, posession, post pacifist true restart, puns, reader vs narrator, who's just doing his job, whoops
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-11
Updated: 2016-01-12
Packaged: 2018-04-30 20:11:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 14
Words: 16,218
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5178113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/elijahking
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They didn't mean to. They didn't want to. They promised they wouldn't, to themselves, to everyone else. But one bad dream, and suddenly Frisk wakes up on the bed of golden flowers and sees that they, once again, have to repeat it all.<br/>the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never t</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. It Is Only A Dream

**A strange light fills the room.**

**Twilight is shining through the window.**

**It seems your day is finally over.**

**You're filled with exhaustion.**

* * *

 

Frisk yawned, eyes tearing up slightly at the corners. They tugged at the hem of Toriel's dark lilac dress.

"Yes, my child?" She turned her head down to Frisk. Held up against their cheek was a stuffed animal that Mettaton had given them (which was just a plush of Toriel with his face on it - she didn't agree to any of this, but if it made Frisk happy...). "Oh! You wish to go to bed, do you not?" A small nod. "Well, let's get you tucked in!" She knelt down and picked Frisk up, cradling them in her warm, plush arms. She hummed an old lullaby, one that she had long forgotten the words to, but the tune still stuck. Back and forth she swayed the child in her arms as they curled themselves into her chest, stepping lightly as to not jar them awake, until she finally arrived at their bedroom door. With a touch of magic, the door swung open silently, and she carried them in. The room was exactly like it was in Home, Underground, in that it was exactly nothing like it. The arrangement was entirely different, but only the bed had stayed the same. Frisk insisted on it. Toriel snuck the child - her child - under the weighted blanket and sheets of their bed, tucking them in as softly as possible. She placed a small kiss on their forehead, petting down the mess of brown hair. "Goodnight, my child," she sang lovingly. "Sweet dreams." And, as the sun finally shut its light off to the world, Toriel shut the door to Frisk's room.

* * *

 

_Frisk...._

**Asriel? Is that you?**

_Why didn't you save me, Frisk?_

**I- I tried! I couldn't!**

_Why did you leave me down here, Frisk!? All alone... left to die..._

**But... you said.. S-someone has to take care of the flowers, r-right?**

_I AM a flower. You were supposed to take care of me. You should have given me your soul!_

**Wh-no! I... I couldn't!**

_Come back, Frisk! Save me! Please! I'm so alone! I miss mom and dad!_

**They miss you too, Asriel, but I can't go back. I have a job to do here. I have friends, family, I...**

_But I have nothing! Stop being so selfish, Frisk._

**You're the one who's being selfish by asking me to do this! I'm not going to destroy everyone's hopes and dreams for one person!**

_Come back, Frisk, please._

**No.**

_Come back._

**No!**

_COME BACK!_

* * *

 

"NO!!!" Frisk shot up from the bed, nearly tumbling out. Wheezing, sweat rolling down their face and sides, shaking. A dream. It was only a dream. It was only... only a dream. So then why did it feel so real? Why did Asriel say those things? And... and his face. Flashing between bloodied and beaten, his old, normal smile, and... and Flowey... like a glitching image, his words stabbing through Frisk. Pain clutched at their lungs like a vice grip. Frisk felt... weak. Helpless. They couldn't help him. They couldn't save him. "Asriel," they whispered to themselves. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry..."

Wobbly, they pushed aside the covers and slid out of bed, landing their tiny feet on the floor with a _thump._ Their pillow and several plushies had been thrown off in the midst of their nightmare, so gently, they picked them up and replaced them on the bed, but kept the Toriel (Mettaton?) plush close to their face. Just a dream. They shuffled out of the room. Just a dream.. They knocked on Toriel's door. Just a dream...?

"Mom?"

Just a dream???

"...Mom...?" They slowly pushed the door open, hearing no response.

Just. A. Dream.

Inside, it was complete darkness. Frisk knew that their mom liked to keep the lights off, but...

Dreams. Aren't. Real.

...this was ridiculous. They stepped inside....

This. This is real. This is so real, very real. Is this real? Am I real? What is real? Real makes no sense the word makes no sense dreams aren't real dreams are real it's all just a dream all just a dream can this night mare end it will never end the best nightmare you ever had will last forever this end is not the end is never the end is never the end is never the en

* * *

 

Something about the way Frisk fell reminded them of a scene from Alice in Wonderland. They hadn't expected the room to just drop off like that. They assumed they were still dreaming. It caught them by surprise, but no cry came from them. Not like anyone would come to help, anyway. It's just a dream. Slowly falling into inky blackness, twisting and turning this way and that. Nothing above, nothing below. They reached out... the plush fell away. They tried to grab it... but it fell slower than they did, disappearing behind them. They started to cry.

_You want to go back._

Sobbing. Hysterics. Pain, pain, pain. Will this never end?

_You need to go back._

"Go back," they repeated the thoughts out loud. 

_It's all just a dream... you can go back._

"BACK."

_They'll forget about you... about everything... you want to go back, still?_

"It's just a dream it's just a dream I want to go back!!"

* * *

 

_Fwump._

....

..........

..................

_You're seeing stars._

"Those aren't stars." Frisk pulled themselves up from the bed, blinking away the tiredness in their eyes. Clenching their fist, they pulled out two handfuls of buttercups from the soft dirt. They stared at the golden flowers, soil embedded under their nails. "...Okay. I'll just. Lay down again. This is just a dream, right?" They nestled themselves back into the flowers. Most of them reached above their head. Frisk idly plucked petals off of them, eyes shutting tight. 

....

..........

..................

But, no matter how long they waited, Frisk couldn't fall asleep. Or wake up. This....

...what is this?

They rose again, this time, to their feet, dropping the uprooted flowers. Frisk turned their head... down a short ways, the familiar dark purple outline of a doorway loomed. The sight filled them with... fear. But the fear pushed them forward, one hesitant step at a time, through the threshold. A small patch of grass, illuminated under an indiscernible spotlight, sat before them. And in the center of that patch sat a single, smiling flower.

"Howdy!"

"No."

"Wh- don't you know it's rude to interrupt someone, especially so dismissively like that?!" Flowey's high pitched voice echoed through the cavern. "Let's try that again. Howdy! I'm-"

"Asriel." The tone of Frisk's voice was that of disbelief and anguish. 

"I-! N-no! I'm F-flowey! Flowey th..." Flowey's petals drooped as Frisk stepped forward. Frisk dropped to their knees, wrapping a gentle hand around the back of Flowey's stem.

"..Asriel, tell me this is just a dream..."

"I don't know what you're talking about," he muttered, looking anywhere but at Frisk. They gripped the flower, shaking it.

"It-it's just a dream, right, Asriel?! You- you remember me, don't you?! We're friends! It's me, Frisk!"

"I don't know you at all! I don't know what you're talking about! Leave me alone!" Flowey slipped out of Frisk's grip, burrowing into the ground.

**_[Flowey ran away...]_ **

Frisk sat there, hands hung still in the air. Something inside of them broke. Like the twisting of a knife, deep inside a part of them that they couldn't identify. Something deeper than the soul. They hadn't realized it, but they were screaming. Ringing out, breaking out, falling out, out, out, out. Get it out of me. Get it out! It. The disbelief, the pain, the...

..the sickness. Frisk collapsed, emptying their stomach. It was everywhere. Red, black, red, gold, red, purple-  
purple  
white  
"Mom?"

 

* * *

Toriel touched a gentle hand to the child's hair. "Shh, calm down now, everything will be alright..." She pulled out a handkerchief and wiped the remnants of the spit up from their lips. "Worry not, my child. I am Toriel. I am the caretaker of the Ruins. I come through here every day to see if anyone has fallen... you are the first human to come here in a long time."

She wrapped a gentle arm under them, lifting the child up. Their eyes were wide, filled with a blank, listless expression. "...Shut your eyes, child. I will carry you to a safe place." They breathed a short, sharp gasp, as if they had been holding it in, eyes rolling into the back of their heads. She reached and closed their eyelids on her own. "Please, stay strong, little one. It is only a short time before I get you Home."

Normally, Toriel would have guided them through the Ruins, just as she did with any other human that fell, and present them with a pie to welcome them. But that could wait, she thought. This... was a special case, she decided. Just a child. So small, so fragile. She will take care of them, no matter the cost.

* * *

 

A sweet aroma teased Frisk's nostrils, stirring their senses. Underneath them, they felt the warm familiarity of their bed.

"Ah," they whispered to themselves, "mom is making pie again..." They rolled over, eyes slowly pushing themselves open. The room was dark, but they could still make out the shapes.

This...

was not their room. The comfort was shoved aside and replaced with extreme unease. Frisk jumped out of the bed, nearly stumbling into the slice of pie left on the floor to the side of it. They hissed, scrambling up and out of the room. They slammed the door shut, pressing their back up against it. Their heart pounded in sync with their head. One hammer slamming down after another.

"M... MOM?!" They cried out. "MOM! MOMMY! TORIEL!!" They slid down, knees curled against them. Sobs wracked their tiny body so hard, they shook. It hurt.

"My child! What ever is the problem?" Her gentle, yet concerned, voice came tumbling down the hall. "Goodness, I am certainly glad you're awake, but..." She was at a loss for words. Frisk's fingers reached up and curled into their hair. Snot dribbled out of their nose.

"Mmmom... why... why am I here...?"

"Ah," she sighed, a bit taken aback at their calling her mom, "you fell down here, child. Do you not remember?"

"NO! Yes! I- I remember, b-but-! This... this wasn't supposed to happen! I- you- we-" They were babbling incoherently at this point. Words fell out of their mouth, a waterfall with no rhyme or reason, turning quickly into a low whine. Toriel knelt and rubbed her paw up and down their back.

"Shh, shh... it's okay, little one... Everything will be fine as long as you stay here with me."

Frisk threw themselves into her, sobbing into her dress. Small fingers gripped at the cloth. It would stain, but she didn't mind. Toriel would do whatever it took to care for them.


	2. Wicked Blood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The return of Chara.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so... i'm putting always gold on hold for right now. I'm kind of stuck.  
> also, if someone could be really nice to me and write some genos/reader smut, i'd love you forever. i'm so thirsty for robots

Toriel was worried for the child. The way their movements became so lethargic, the way they looked like they didn't sleep at night... Their eyes were bloodshot and sunken low in their head. Toriel made sure to feed the child well, but almost none of it seemed to keep down.

This child is going to die, Toriel thought. They're going to die under my care. It shook her body with grief. Not again. She had been through this so many times. They come. They leave. They die. But now, the child was going to die without ever having left. But death, too, is a way of leaving. They come. They leave. They die. Like the same, repetitious broken record. It felt like betrayal. Betrayal to herself, to her duty as a mother, a caretaker. She had to change this. 

"My child," she approached them one day. They didn't look up from their spot on the floor, batting a ball back and forth mindlessly. "How about we go for a walk?" No response. "Okay... then... why don't I read you a book?" Nothing. She grew tired of this. "Why don't you help me cut up some ingredients for dinner, then?" Ah, that got their attention. Their head shot up. 

_That sounds like fun. I always liked using mom's knives._

"...yeah," came a cracked, hoarse whisper. They struggled to their feet, following Toriel to the kitchen. She pushed a stepping stool to the counter, and Frisk clambered up onto it. A bit of life returned to their eyes. She set down the cutting board, some carrots, garlic, potatoes... and the knife. Just a little paring knife, duller than some of her other ones.

But any good chef knows that a sharp knife is safer than a dull knife, so she changed her mind and replaced it with her much-loved chef's knife. If they cut themselves, she wouldn't forgive herself.

_I like the weight of it in my hand._

"Me, too," Frisk muttered, chopping sloppily into the potato.

_Are you okay?_

"...no."

_It's okay to not be okay. We should go out and play sometime._

"I'd like that."

"Little one, who are you talking to?" Toriel laughed a little, stirring the browning snails on the stove. She had been so engrossed in seasoning them that she only just noticed that they were talking.

"No one," they murmured, knife slamming down onto another chunk of starch. 

"Oh, you're quite good at that!" Despite their messy form, the vegetables were coming out roughly the same size and shape. "Okay, that's enough for now. Why don't you go outside for a little while, and I'll finish up?"

* * *

 

Frisk walked along the wall, shoulder slumped into the cool bricks.

_So hey, it seems like you know me._

"Yeah. You're Chara. I remember you."

_Heh. Sorry about what happened to you. But humanity sucks. You're better off here._

"Mh," Frisk grunted to the voice in their head that wasn't theirs. "I just.... I want them to remember me. It hurts."

_I get that. Hey, you like knives, right? There's a little toy knife at the-_

"I know," they interrupted. Frisk didn't actually really like knives, but over these past few weeks in the Ruins, the idea of something solid and sharp in their hands, in their control, became more likable. "I am in control," they whispered to themselves, over and over again. "I am in control I am in contro l i am in controsl i am 

i am

in

c o n t r o l.

_Are you?_

Frisk wanted to heave, but there was nothing to expel. They want to be remembered, they want to be in control, they will take their fate into their own hands. Fate lies in this plastic. Frisk picked it up, raising their head slowly to gaze over the Ruins. Buildings clustered together, so old and forgotten that they were about to tumble to dust. They felt a bitter anger rising in their throat. 

"I WILL NOT BECOME LIKE YOU!" They screamed into the void. "I will NOT be forgotten! I will NOT be left behind!" Adrenaline pulsed through them. No. Not a adrenaline. Something stronger. Something with more force. That something.....

....Determination. 

They will make their mark on history.


	3. You Will Remember Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things turn a little dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha whoops here i go being a lil shit again  
> so i'm ina really weird slump and this chapter is probably gonna be crap. but enjoy it anyway

"Okay, mom, I'm going out now!" Frisk hopped up from the table, having cleared their plate.

"Goodness, I'm so glad you're feeling better!" She sang from the kitchen. "Could you just bring me your plate?"

"Sure!" They reached up, grabbing at the plate. They strained a little, gripping, inching- "whoops." The china came crashing down to the floor, shards of white skidding all over the floor. They had to hold back a little giggle. 

_Good job. Even if it was on accident._

"Oh dear..." Toriel said from the doorway. "Well, accidents can't be helped.. Go on out, sweetie, I'll clean this up."

"Sorry."

"It's quite alright. Just be more careful next time."

* * *

 

A bed of golden flowers.

_Nice act you put up back there._

Frisk shrugged.

_So what will you do now?_

"I want them to remember me."

_That's a little vague._

"This is all Asriel's fault."

_...but that was just a dream, right?_

"Howdy!" Frisk spun their head around. "Seems we got off on the wrong foot last time we met. I'm Flowey. Flowey the flower."

"...Frisk," they said curtly. They patted their pockets for the knife, pulling it out. They knew what was coming.

"Ooh, nice toy." A flash of a menacing smile, before returning to his normal giddy self. "Do you want to learn how to use it?"

"Don't bother with your friendliness bullets."

"Ah, it seems you've seen through my evil plan." Flowey chuckled, face spinning like a glitching image into that wide, sharp-pointed toothy smile. "YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON HERE."

"Hah. Yeah. You've left me so scarred that I shake when I speak of you." Frisk rose the knife in front of their face, blade towards Flowey. Their maniacal grin only grew larger, enticing the child to step forward. "You did this to me! You did this to everyone!" Another step. "I had done it all right! I saved everyone!"

"SAVE? HAHAHA, YOU IDIOT. YOU CAN'T SAVE ANYONE. DON'T YOU KNOW? IT'S KILL OR BE KILLED," he spat. 

"..."

"WHAT, AREN'T YOU GOING TO SAY SOMETHING? COME ON. ATTACK ME. I DARE YOU."

"...no."

_What?! He's going to kill you!_

Vines crept up around the child, thorns threatening to grip them. "COME ON. DON'T ACT SO STUPID."

"You're right."

_What._

"What." In an instant, Flowey retracted his vines and set a confused look on his face.

"You- you're right. Hah. Hahaha." Tears streamed down their reddening face. From anger. From hatred. "I-I did everything RIGHT. And none of them remember me. So-so this has got to be the only way, right?" 

"...so, what. Do you plan to kill them all?" Flowey's face went from confused to a smug grin. "I see. Do what you want. I'll be waiting."  _Thop!_ And he was gone. Frisk fell to their knees, sobbing laughter into their purple striped sleeve.

_Hm. You're such a crybaby. Jeez. Do you need me to take over?_

"N-no! I... I can do this!" They shot up, wiping away the remnants of their tears. With a few heavy sniffles, they gathered themselves together. Heart heavy in their chest, they strode forward into the Ruins with impure intentions.

* * *

 

A Froggit lept out into the path.

"Do you remember me?" Stupid thing could only tilt its head. 

"Meow?"

"Of course not. But you will. You all will." Down came the blade, slicing through the creature. In one swipe, it had turned to dust.

_A bit messy, but you'll get better._

"Oh, shut up."

Froggit. Whimsum.

_They were a crybaby anyway._

Vegetoid. Loox. Moldsmal. 

_Ugh, they're so gross._

Peering around corners. Checking every unturned leaf and stone.

_Now they'll just come after you in revenge. But they're scared, too._

"I'll be passed down in history."

_They'll remember you, Frisk._

"They will remember me."

_They'll remember all the things that we've done._

"They'll remember us."

_When they think of us they'll tremble in fear. Our names will be written in every history book._

"Another one!" Down the corridor, a white figure lay on the ground. Frisk ran to approach, but it vanished before they got close.

_Damn it._

Their fist curled around the hilt of the blade. Couldn't get them all. They laughed. "COME ON! THERE'S GOTTA BE MORE OF YOU!"

But no one came.

_You know, there's still one more._

"...There is."

* * *

"Mom! I'm back!"

"Welcome home, my child," she greeted them from the chair near the fireplace. "Did you have fun?"

"Oh, yeah." They looked down at their dusty, bloodied hands. A grin crept up into their lips. "Loads."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heh. heheheh. it's your choices that turn Chara into what they are....  
> it is now that I shall reveal that this is a prequel to my Merciless series.


	4. Matricide

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Do you really hate me... that much?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey i'm back i need to write some angst

Their little head bobbed up to the side of Toriel's armchair. She gasped in surprise, then let out a soft chuckle.

"Hello, child. Is there something you need?"

"Nah," they muttered, crawling up into her lap. "Actually, I was thinking earlier. What's it like outside the Ruins?" Toriel's face twitched in concern. Never had they been even remotely curious or showed any signs of wondering what it was like outside.

"Well, you come from the surface, shouldn't you know?" Her words were sweet, paw rubbing down their eternally messy hair.

"'s not what I meant!" Frisk pouted. "I mean... the rest of the Underground." Her sweet facade quickly fell to an almost petulant frown.

"That... is none of your concern, child. Now, why don't you run off to play," she attempted to scoot them off her lap. They clutched tight, eyes narrowing in fury.

"No!"  _Tell her you want to learn._ "I want to learn!" This struck a chord inside her. Toriel's shoulders stiffened, then relaxed, soft brown eyes closing behind her reading glasses.

"Alright, child. I will tell you. Outside the Ruins, there is a vast expanse of the Underground... there is a snow covered wasteland, a marsh with radioactive water, a dangerous volcano, a great machine with dangerous electric traps, and then there is... ASGORE." The word dripped from her lips like poison. Frisk pursed their lips, knowing she was lying, but kept quiet. There was a plan in place. "He is the worst monster of them all..."

"Oh, I don't think so," they said nonchalantly, "every monster here so far has been really nice! Especially you, Toriel. Is he really all that bad?" Her mouth twisted, eyebrows furrowing.

"Not every monster is like me or the ones in the Ruins, my child."

_This isn't getting anywhere. You're too weak._

"Well," they bounced their knee impatiently, "I wanna see for myself."

"Excuse me?!"

"I want to leave the Ruins and find out for myself!"

"...I have to do something," she mumbled, lifting them off her lap and rushing out the room.

"Well, looks like our plan worked out, didn't it?"  _Yes, yes it did. Follow her. You know what to do._

* * *

"They come. They leave. They die." The mantra she had seen, thought, spoken, repeated. "My child... if you leave here... they... ASGORE... will kill you. Do you understand? Now go to your room."

"No." She grunted and moved forward hastily.

"Do not try to stop me."

"Toriel..." She refused to face them, until the door to the Ruins was directly in front of her.

"You still wish to leave?"

"No."

"...What?" She spun around, robe twirling in the movement. A confused smile crept onto her face. "Child, if you had said so in the first place, none of this would have-" A glimmer caught her eye. "Wh...what is that..?"

"Mother dearest," they channeled Chara's anger, pain, regret, hopes, fears, "do you remember me?" They placed a hand against their chest. "Of course you don't... I don't wish to leave... I HAVE to leave."

"...Fine," she narrowed her eyes, "if you wish to leave, you will have to prove yourself. Prove you are strong enough to survive."

The room darkened, drawing them into the battle. Frisk stood, smiling politely, holding the knife in one hand, staring up to Toriel as sweetly as possible.  _Talking will do no good,_ Chara warned them.  _Just FIGHT._

It was over quicker than they would have thought. Even the monsters in the Ruins put up more of a fight, but with one sharp, accurate swipe, Toriel fell to her knees, eyes wide. They jumped back, shaking, panting, staring at the toy. It's no toy, now, but a weapon of matricide. "You..." her voice was hoarse, quivering. A fearful smile now sat on her lips. "Do you really hate me that much...?"

"You forgot about me," they spat, glaring a menacing smile at her. "You and the rest!"

"N-no... m-m-my child, you are mistaken... I remember you... I remember..." Tears fell from her face. "Chara, my child..." This made them twitch, a roar of rage came screaming out of them, lunging forward again and stabbing the knife into Toriel once again. 

"NO!! I'm not Chara! I'm Frisk!! I am FRISK!!! And you forgot me!! I saved you, and you forgot me!!" She chuckled quietly, wrapping her arms around them as gently as she could. their sobs became muffled in her weakening body.

"...Now I know who it was that I was protecting... n-not you.. b-but them...!" With one last, hollow laugh, her form crumbled to dust, and now Frisk's sobs rang, echoing through the chamber. They could feel their heart ache. _Ah, feeling. That will go away soon, young one. It is done. It is over._

_This world will fall for what they did to you._


	5. Child, why are you so afraid?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A look into the behavioral patterns of our dear, sweet Frisk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UNRELIABLE NARRATOR IS UNRELIABLE

Frisk was not a child that came from abuse, or loneliness, but actually a rather loving family. Well, a child would know no difference, would they? Considering that the only memories they had left of their birth family had quickly faded after their first fall. One could twist the story to say that Frisk was coddled, protected to the point where they felt they had to break free. Or, one could go and say that punishments for acting out went beyond time outs and spankings, and that's why Frisk had so many bruises and a single bandage to cover the wounds. Perhaps the toys they had received did not interest them. Maybe the kind words fell on deaf ears. 

"This is my darling child. Frisk, dear, smile for these people! They are very important to me." And, in a hushed aside, "Don't go messing things up like you usually do, understand?" With a grip tighter than they could handle. "Good. You're so obedient."

Frisk thought they came from a loving family. Rich, powerful, gave them everything they ever needed to survive, and then some. But any outsider would take one look at the child who chose to wear the same sweater to cover their arms and know. 

When Frisk first fell into the Underground, it was not as if they had meant to. Their parents had spoken of the rumors of the fallen children before them, but not directly to Frisk. Frisk is only a child, of course, they cannot learn of such things. Frisk put on a dumb face and pretended they weren't listening. They had never meant to fall into the Underground, the Ruins, the first _or_ second time. The first time was a fluke, a mistake, a mere trip over their own two, tiny feet, and there they went, stumbling into wonderland. Why were they up there in the first place?

"Was it foolishness? Was it fate?"

A bit of both.

"Or was it... well, only you know, don't you?"

And, well, maybe that. Those were tough questions to answer, Asriel. Questions that an adult would be better off answering for them. Chara, you remember, don't you? You remember this. This ending. We saw it together. We - _you_ \- were so proud. So happy. Everyone you loved got to live. Do you remember, Chara?

Yet, oddly, their voice remained silent in Frisk's head. 

Well, maybe you don't, and that's okay. I don't expect anyone to remember, they thought, head placed against the cool door that led out the ruins. So it wasn't a very happy ending for Asriel, and I was upset about that, too. But he didn't want to come.

And when Toriel asked if they had another place to go? Another tough one. 

Maybe it was because of their life that they didn't want to hurt anyone, or rather, didn't have the capability to. They simply had no energy to devote to harming others. Lashing out at their parents resulted in a harsh punishment to the child, but it's a good family! It's a good family, they insisted. It's a good family, one that held their hand as they hiked up the mountain. There was a wedding there that day. Despite the rumors, humans still climbed the mountain to view the sights it gave: the other end of Mt. Ebbot, looming in the distance; their home city silhouetted against the sun; and the large expanse of forest and rivers that crisscrossed between. Despite the rumors, humans still took their children up to the mountain. Despite the rumors, adults let their children wander when they weren't looking. _My_ children are different, they insisted to themselves. They are smart. They will avert any warnings they see. They will follow precautions. _My_ child is smart, unlike the _others_.

Despite the rumors, adults still knew nothing about children.

And when Frisk wandered off to follow the other children, that theory was proven very wrong. It's not simply that Frisk was foolish, but wanted to please. They wanted to impress. They needed to, or, well.

They would have to hope they wouldn't need to climb into the medicine cabinet again.

The other children knew each other well. Frisk? Was a bit of an outcast. They knew the other children, sure. They could name each one, what their parents did, and... that was it, really. While the other children were comfortable enough in each other's lives that they could play freely without worry. Frisk was the proverbial third wheel. But children can be cold and cruel, just as their parents. And children can be kind and welcoming, unlike them, and asked Frisk to join them. So, Frisk did, following behind without question.

"Hey, look!" An older boy pointed to a cave that, if you weren't looking at it directly, you would miss it. "See that? I wonder what that is."

"Maybe we shouldn't do that," another boy, younger, quipped. "There are some signs on it that say 'warning'..."

"Oh, you're right.."

"Don't be such wimps!" One of the girls stomped her foot. "As long as we're safe, nothing bad should happen! Don't you think so, Frisk?" Frisk didn't expect this question so suddenly, so they nodded. "See? Even our new friend thinks so!" A small murmur passed through the group. 

"L-let's go in, guys! I-I bet it's... cool..." Frisk finally managed to speak up. All the children smiled and nodded, the eldest entering in through some slats of wood that had broken apart, the rest following. The cave was illuminated by a gaping hole in the ceiling, and in the middle lay a large, looming gap. 

"Woaaahhh, look at that!"

"Do you think that this is where the rumors come from?"

"Yeah! Though, it's probably some sort of old mine."

"I dunno, guys," Frisk stepped forward, peering over its edge, "it doesn't look like anything is down there." They kicked a stone inside. Everyone held their breaths, waiting, waiting, waiting. But the sound of it hitting the bottom never came.

"Yikes..."

"M-maybe there's just some soft dirt down there! That's why we didn't hear it hitting the bottom!"

"You're probably right."

"Or," the girl rolled her eyes, "the stone was too small to make a noise! Here, Frisk, throw this stick in!" She shoved a hefty stick in their arms, sending them toppling over. They nearly fell in, catching themselves to balance right at the edge. And the sigh of relief swept through the children.

"Don't worry, you guys! I'm fine! Though, that gave me an idea!" Frisk took a few steps back, stick gripped tight, then ran forward a few steps to launch it as hard as they could into the maw of the earth. Yet. Something... called for them. The darkness appealed to them. If they disappeared, they wouldn't have to be so perfect. They could... go... 

Of course, they didn't mean to. It was the strange combination of a purposeful stumble of the feet and an unpurposeful fall.

_So which is it?_

"Don't know," Frisk muttered, now sitting in the dust pile. They idly picked up fistfuls and let it slip through their fingers, over, and over, and over. "Like I did, and I didn't... this time, for sure, I didn't. I... I went with her.."

They went with Toriel. No, I want to stay. I have nowhere to go. I don't have anywhere to be. I am nothing to no one. I am everything to you. You are everything to me. And it disgusts me. How could you forget your own child? How could you force them to forget?

_It's not your fault. It's theirs. And we're going to make them pay._

Whose? 

And the voice fell silent again. With a sigh, Frisk picked themselves back up, wiping the dust off their pants. You have a long journey ahead of you, young one. Everything you do has purpose. So do it with purpose, on purpose. Don't fall. Don't make a mistake. Now push on forward, through the doors. Your story has only just begun.


	6. Will I Run or Stand My Ground

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How could you do this?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *copypastes from old fics bc i forgot what i wrote in them*
> 
> this is a weird chapter im sorry

The doors groaned open, echoing into the immense hallway. They took the first step into it, the door closing behind them on its own. No turning back now, child. You've already begun your way to destruction. Are you okay with this?

A pause. A moment of hesitation under the spotlight before the final archway would lead them to the frozen land of Snowdin Forest.

"Hey," Flowey's voice came from behind. "What are you waiting for?"

"...A sign."

"That... sounds really stupid."

"YOU SOUND REALLY STUPID!" They whirled around, pointing the weapon into the flower's face. It didn't budge.

"Pff. You're not gonna hurt me." Flowey placed a leaf atop the blade, pushing it down and out of his face. "So, tell me, friend. If that-" he jerked his head back towards the Ruins, "-wasn't enough of a sign, then what _is?_ What do you even plan to do?"

"I... I don't know." With a grievous sigh, the child returned the toy knife to the belt loop it called home. "I want them to remember me... a-and I d-don't want the reset to happen again..."

"Hmm. Tell you what, buddy. Why don't we destroy this world, together?"

 _Finally, he's talking some sense._ "I-What?"

"See, because, if you destroy it..."

"...there will never be another reset!"

"Exactly! You're not as dumb as I thought." Flowey gave a cheery smile. "So we'll destroy it all. That sounds like a wonderful idea!" And with a little chuckle,  _thop!_ He popped back into the ground. Frisk's lips pulled taut.

 _Well? Are you ready?_ "Ready as I'll ever be."

* * *

 

"SANS, YOU LAZYBONES! JUST HOW LONG DO YOU PLAN ON SLEEPING?"

It was like any other day for Sans. Wake up, go to their stations, practice attacks on training dummies, find no humans, go home.

"alright, alright, i'm getting up..."

* * *

 

The door was frozen to the touch. Frisk shivered. Well. They remembered how cold Snowdin was before, so it should be no different now. And so they pushed forward. The snow had piled up against the door a little more in this timeline, making the effort slightly more strenuous, but, like they had been taught, they closed the door behind them.

They knew what was coming. Still, they tried not to jump when that branch snapped into a million splinters. They didn't turn around when they heard footsteps behind them in the snow. Don't let it effect you. You're stronger than this. I know it. You know it. Distance yourself. You didn't gain love, but LOVE. You remember, don't you? You're about to meet the guy who told you that. You once held love in your heart, but now it was replaced with determination and an empty sadness.

With a bellowing, haunting voice, he called out:  **H U M A N.**  

Frisk paused at the same spot they always did. He stood behind them.  **D O N ' T  Y O U  K N O W  H O W  T O  G R E E T  A  N E W  P A L ?  T U R N  A R O U N D  A N D  S H A K E  M Y  H A N D.**

They stiffly turned. Sans stook out a hand, half-covering the secret inside. They grabbed it, and...

_Pppppprrrrrrrrrrssstththhhhbbbbbb!_

_Maybe now isn't the best time to laugh. He forgot about you, remember? Don't laugh at him._

"heheheh... the old whoopie cushion in the hand trick. it's ALWAYS funny." They had to look away, pretending to feel unamused. "that's, uh. your cue to laugh. or, uh, to emote at all...?" Sans winked, hoping to get anything out of them. Frisk slipped their hand away, grimacing.  "gee, lady, you really know how to pick 'em, huh...?" he wondered aloud. "OK, that's fine, everyone's go their own sense of humor."

He continued to introduce himself, to a very sad human who already knew the spiel. He's Sans. Sans the skeleton. He's supposed to be on the lookout for humans, but he doesn't actually care about capturing anyone. Now, his brother, Papyrus? He's a human hunting FANATIC. Yeah, only because he's trying to impress Undyne, which, she already wants to be his friend, and vice versa. Why is everyone in this story so bad at admitting their feelings? Sans pushed them through the bars of the bridge, telling them, hey, go hide behind that conveniently-shaped lamp.

 _Sorry. Not really feeling up to it right now,_ the familiar thought rang in their head. These brothers, their brothers. How could they possibly be up to doing this again?

"WELL, THAT SETTLES THAT," Papyrus said with a note of finality, snapping Frisk back to reality. They hadn't realized he had already come and gone. A bubble caught up in their throat. They started off after him, when Sans stopped them:

"well, i'll be straight-forward with you. my brother'd really like to see a human... so, y'know, it'd really help me out... if you kept pretending to be one."

It was like being dragged through the dirt behind a jet plane. Sans disappeared, leaving Frisk alone to catch up to the brothers. 

"N...no. I... I am human... a-aren't I?"

 _Of course you are. What's wrong with you?_ _Do you need me to get you through this?_ Without a second thought, Frisk allowed themselves to disappear, just as they had done times before. Dissolve into the being that is Chara. Chara has helped them through much, whether it be showing them options they hadn't noticed before or to stand back up when they got knocked back down. Now, Frisk was letting Chara take over when they couldn't handle it again. You know how it is. You've seen it all before:

They FIGHT. No MERCY. Chara knows how helpful the snowman pieces will be, so they keep taking, and taking, and taking until there is nothing left to take. Frisk had simply carried the piece through the barrier last time, only to have it melt before they could get it into proper refrigeration. Chara tried on the tough glove-

 _More like tough love, right? Hahah._ Frisk joked inwardly. Chara rolled their eyes. "You've picked up too many bad jokes from that comedian." Still, Chara laughed, though it was a cold and broken laugh. They didn't like the way the glove felt on their fist, so they tossed it aside in favor of the toy knife. They'll get a real one soon... soon.

Through the puzzles they wandered, pushing through them without a care, much to Papyrus' chagrin. The poor taller skeleton was NOT pleased. In fact... he could actually feel himself hurting from this. Keep an eye out. Keep looking. Arriving to Snowdin, the town lay empty. Papyrus stood guard at the very edge of town, waving the last of them off. He couldn't understand why Sans said they had to evacuate. Sure, the human was a little... odd... but there's nothing that the power of friendship can't fix, right?

"Papyrus, my sweet summer child," the voice drawled from behind. Chara stood with a proud, ominous smile, knife in one hand, a half-eaten cinnabunny in the other. They took another bite out of the bun, still warm.

"HUMAN-"

"Lemmie stop you right there, Papyrus." Chara held the knife loosely up, pointing the tip toward the skeleton. "I'm gonna tell you a tale. A tale about a kid named Frisk. Frisk... is a friend of mine. Another human. They fell down here once, and did everything right. I was, according to their memories, proud. Glad that everyone I love and care about had been set free from the Underground. But then!" They barked out a laugh. "They reset. Not on purpose, no. Something... some _one_ forced them to. They were happy. Frisk could have lived their life out with ease. And so, everyone forgot about them."

"I- I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN! I'M SURE I WOULD REMEMBER ANOTHER HUMAN! I WOULD REMEMBER... BEING SET FREE."

"Papyrus, Papyrus," Chara tutted their tongue, shaking their head back and forth. They finished off the cinnabunny, licking their fingers off. "Hm, always delicious. Cinnamon is much better than butterscotch." _I like butterscotch better._   **I know, that's what makes us such a great pair! Don't you think?** _Y-yeah..._  

"W-WELL!" Chara stepped forward. "H-HEY! STOP MOVING WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, HAVE SOME THINGS TO SAY. FIRST, YOU'RE A FREAKING WEIRDO! NOT ONLY DO YOU NOT LIKE PUZZLES, BUT THE WAY YOU SHAMBLE FROM PLACE TO PLACE... THE WAY YOUR HANDS ARE ALWAYS COVERED IN DUSTY POWDER..." Chara made a quick glance down. Hm, yeah, they ARE a bit dusty. Not that they care. They couldn't care. They had no ability to care. "IT FEELS... LIKE YOUR LIFE IS GOING DOWN A DANGEROUS PATH. HOWEVER! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, SEE GREAT POTENTIAL WITHIN YOU! EVERYONE CAN BE A GREAT PERSON IF THEY TRY! AND ME, I HARDLY HAVE TO TRY AT ALL!! NYEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!!" 

Ugh, this was getting boring just get ON with it already! X, X, X, X. Chara took another step forward. "HEY, QUIT MOVING!" Papyrus pointed a gloved finger to the child. "THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT! HUMAN! I THINK YOU ARE IN NEED OF GUIDANCE! SOMEONE NEEDS TO KEEP YOU ON THE STRAIGHT AND NARROW! BUT WORRY NOT! I, PAPYRUS... WILL GLADLY BE YOUR FRIEND AND TUTOR! I WILL TURN YOUR LIFE RIGHT AROUND!!!" They rolled their eyes, giving him a disgusted look. Just shut up already. X, X, X, X. "I-I SEE YOU ARE APPROACHING!" Knife raised. "ARE YOU OFFERING A HUG OF ACCEPTANCE?" FIGHT or flight. His skull had rolls of sweat dripping down it. "W-WOWIE! MY LESSONS ARE WORKING ALREADY!! I, PAPYRUS, WELCOME YOU WITH OPEN ARMS!"  _  
_

Click, click, click, draw. Papyrus is sparing you. He can't fight. He can never fight you. You will fight him regardless of his feelings. You will FIGHT. And it wasn't even hard. Because, Papyrus... you are in their way. It didn't even take any effort, like cutting through butter with, well, a hot knife. What a joke. Wipe that stupid smile off your face, Papyrus. Don't believe in them. You should have expected this. You should have stood your ground. You failed, Papyrus. You failed.

And Sans?

Sans failed, too. He failed to protect his brother from them. The demon, he called them. But it's not their fault. Their hand was forced. Frisk gulped down a sob. They're sorry. They're sorry, they're sorry. But they are not Frisk. It's you, Chara. It's always been you. Frisk cried inside at the loss of their friend, but it's for the better. They will never have to reset again.


	7. The First Reset

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You messed up. You messed up, and bad. You let yourself love. You messed up, and now you have to pay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw for child death this chapter  
> ......sorry

"Kid, c'mon, we gotta go," one monster smacked the young, arm-less monster's behind. He grumbled and trudged forward.

"But I wanna see Undyynnnne," he whined. "And dude, my name is Kida!"

"Yeah, whatever, kid. No time to see Undyne. We gotta go."

Kida begrudgingly followed the group. His sister was up ahead, standing tall and proud and prim and perfect and loved by everyone. Pssht. Whatever, he thought. If he's just quiet enough, he can sneak away. He can stay behind and meet her, the object of his undying affection. Undyne! The head of the Royal Guard! Kida didn't really even understand why they were leaving, anyway. So, without a word, he slowed his pace, until the adults were out of sight, and he was hidden well in the underbrush of tangled leaves and grass of Waterfall.

* * *

 "Yo!" The child skidded to a halt. "Are you a kid, too? I can tell by your striped sweater." Raising an eyebrow, they pulled at their purple striped shirt.

"...Yeah?"

"Yo, dude, that's awesome!! Are you here to see Undyne?!"

"...No?" They'd see her eventually. 

"Oh. Well, she's so cool! Dude! I'm gonna go look for her. I'll be seein' you around!" And so the kid ran off, falling face first into the gravel- Frisk made a little hiss, 'cause that HAD to hurt; but also they hoped that he wouldn't get back up - and then immediately pulled themselves back up. 

Through the first batch of tall grass they wandered, holding still, holding their breath when they knew she was near. Undyne. The fear they held for her shook them deep down to their core, but that was then. This is now. Now, they closed their eyes, a strange calm washing over them. There's no need to be afraid. waiting for her to leave. They'd approach her later. The clanking of her armor faded into the distance, and they could once again breathe easy. So to speak.

"Yo, Undyne was looking RIGHT at you!!" Kida trailed behind them, rounding to their front. "...Dude, you don't look too happy about that." They gave a noncommittal grunt. "Well, whatever! See you later, dude!" They stared after him, gaze fixed on the cavern ahead. 

Everything was disgusting in Waterfall. Either moldy or sticky or cold and damp, it all reeked of rot. Sure, it was beautiful. Neon blue waters, twinkling crystals in the ceiling. They paused for a moment, twirling a finger around the stem of a water sausage. Heaven above. Hell below. Or... was this hell? Either way, you're going to burn if you keep going down this path. They snapped the plant at its stem, stared at it for a moment, then let it drop into the slow-churning waters. Dust motes rose and fell. Echo flowers said no secrets. 

All was quiet in Waterfall. Until the shrieks of death rung like knells through the grotto. 

_Chara._ "Yes?"  _It's hurting my ears... could we... maybe.. stop..?_ The idea hadn't occurred to them. "Hm. But we've already come so far. Why should we stop?" Frisk had no reply, so they continued forward. "Frisk, you're not going to start doubting us  _now_ , are you?"  _Well... no.. bu-_ "Good. Because... we still have a LOT of work to do."

* * *

 

"YO! Did you see that?! Undyne just... touched me! I'm never washing my face again!""

"Haha, yeah."

_Frisk..._ The child had regained their own control. "I-I feel bad," they muttered.  _Ugh, you're such a wimp!_ "I'm sorry! It... It hurts... I... I agreed with you... at first... b-but now..."  _You're such a crybaby... You know you're not the one in control, right?_

They decided not to answer that, continuing forward. They kept hunting, but nobody came. Except, ff course, Kida.

"Hey, you wanna see Undyne, right? Climb on my shoulders."

"Thanks."  _What are you doing?_  

"Yo, not so rough, haha."

"S-sorry. Do you... want...?" They stretched out an arm, which received some choice words from Chara. 

"Haha, nah, but thanks, dude! You know me. I'll find a way. Go on ahead of me!"

"Oh-okay."

_Frisk._

_What are you doing._

"He's my friend, Chara!"

_None of them are your friends. Friends don't forget friends!!_

"..."

_FRISK._

"F-fine. Whatever." They rubbed the dust out of their eyes and continued to the gorge. Kida called to them.  _I'm taking care of this._

"Y-yo!" He shook in their boots. Or... lack thereof. Hey stepped all the way up to the struggling Frisk. Struggling to stay in control. "Yo," Kida took a deep breath. "Undyne told me to stay away from you. She said you... she said you hurt a lot of people." He looked to the ground, shifting from one foot to another, the human shifting from one facade to another. Back and forth, the struggle ensued. "But, yo, that's not true, right?!" 

They had to turn away. "...Yo... why won't you answer me?" Their lips twisted upwards in a trembling smirk, eyes filled with tears. "A...a...and what's with that weird expression?!"

_Don't, please!_ Chara spun and shoved Kida backwards. "O-oh! Oh man..." Kida spun around, catching his breath. What would Undyne do? Wear those words on your chest. Ask them proudly. Act them proudly. What would Undyne do? Undyne would fight. "Y-you better stop right where you are! Because if you wanna hurt anyone else... y-you're gonna have to go through me, first! A-a...and-"

"You're in my way." Chara raised the knife towards the sky-

_WAIT!!!_

And missed by a mile.

"H-h...huh?"

"H..hah! Haha! See! Yo, I knew you weren't bad!"

"...messed up..."

"What was that, dude?"

"JUST GO!!!"

"...O-okay... later, dude!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Frisk, what the fuck is wrong with you.  
Don't swear! It's mean.  
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?! How could you miss?! How could WE miss?! What is wrong with us?! You're not in control!   
I. I just can't do this anymore. It's too much.   
You messed up.  
I messed up.  
We messed up.  
But you, especially. You allowed yourself to love. And now, you have to pay.

 

With a slow, controlled motion, the child spun the knife and plunged its serrated plastic edges into their torso, over, and over, and over, and over, and now, you have to do it over.


	8. Reminiscence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A new player has entered the game.

Are you the type of person who believes they can make no mistakes? The kind that forgets easily? Or the kind that enjoys tormenting the young, the innocent, and the fearful? 

Because you never let them save. You didn't let them SAVE. They didn't SAVE or save, themselves, others, or the game. Is this really all just a game to you? Your toy? Your plaything? Do you really think that I don't know? I know what you've done. You missed. You messed up. And you made them pay.

But that was then. This is now. Now, they will awaken in the bed of golden flowers. Now, they will sob uncontrollably because they were forced to RESET. Now, they will hear a voice in the darkness, a haunting cry that will follow them to the end:

"Howdy!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the shortest chapter i've ever written.


	9. M O N S T E R

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which the player and narrator have an argument
> 
> through poetry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a poem i wrote in like, high school, but i felt it worked v well with this story.   
> player in bold (chara/frisk in italics)

**Emotions resolved**

**return to hunting**

run

hide

 

**Children, keep playing with your toys**

**nothing to fear**

**I hunt the monsters**

**shivering in darkness**

**they screech**

silent

**and softly, they whisper..**

 

My eyes

they see nothing

**so ignore the screams**

**there's nothing to cry about**

**emotions resolved**

**return to hunting.**

 

_We will get you._

 

_Hide and seek._

_Cover your eyes._

_And count to ten._

Keep running. Keep hiding.

 

_We will find you._

 

**Children, keep playing with your toys**

everything,

the world to fear

**I hunt the monsters**

**my skeletal remains a distraction**

**shivering in the darkness**

I scream

and softly, they whisper,

 

_"We will get you."_

 

**The littlest witches leave the cities in flames**

**there**

**your charred remains lay**

rest in peace

 

wake up

wake up

wake up

please

 

_"We will find you."_


	10. Forbidden Land

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The narrator is getting really upset and it's really hot in here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if anyone needs any explanations, give me a shout at my tumblr, asrielking. i'm usually there 90% of the day.
> 
> did anyone else listen to richaadEB's album? it's really good

I really don't like you. Could we, maybe, come to a compromise? Tell you what: you stop making the children kill everything, and I'll go back to doing my job and writing out their happy story. You were perfectly happy giving them their true ending before, so why not now? 

...

You wanted to see what would happen? That's... very shallow of you. I think you're just a really nasty person. You're a perfectionist who won't let one slip up happen. That's why you forced them to reset, isn't it? Because you allowed yourself to love.

...

Oh,  _my mistake!_ YOU didn't allow yourself to love, of course, of course, you allowed THEM to love. Yes, right, because Frisk and Chara are their own people. You're kind of sick, you know that? If you keep going like this, it's not going to end well, for you, for me, for them, or for the Reader.

...

Fine, fine. But don't say I didn't warn you.

 

*********

 

Warmer waters and pollen clogged the child's sinuses. Great, of course they'd have allergies in this timeline. Can one develop allergies from time travel? Never mind, don't answer that. After the First Reset, the child had grown accustomed to resets happening whenever they messed up. Any onlooker would realize that most of their scars were self-inflicted. Stupid, stupid stupid. Mistakes were made, and they paid for them. Though they were neither mistakes they made nor ones they had to pay for, but I digress. It's sickening, honestly. But they stopped crying, at least. 

Yes, at least they stopped crying...

Though. Losing to Undyne that many times certainly does a number to one's mental and physical state. The way they staggered around from place to place... the smile of enjoyment as they grew to love the sensation of killing... I believe it was the.. tenth? Reset? Ah, yes, you're right, it was the twelfth. Yes, the TWELFTH reset was when they started to enjoy it. I've lost count how many times you've- they've- lost... and had to start it all over. I thought the point of this was to make it so they DIDN'T have to reset.

Don't look at me in that tone of voice, Player. Your story isn't looking very good right now.

Moving on. Frisk. Chara? It was hard to tell them apart at this point. Had returned to Waterfall, for the final time. They would kick and bite and slice their way through this, even if it meant dying. 

"You don't scare me," they scoffed at her. A challenge. A quick swipe of the feet after they'd scared off Kida again showed just how right they were. They no longer have the ability to fear. 

The battle against a true hero ensued. Undyne usually got the best of the child, as a spear through the chest usually kills a person. But their determination ran headlong, a battering ram to a sure win. Their pearl-pink ballet slippers slapped against her armor almost ineffectively, but they were wearing her down. 

"I'm actually a little impressed," she admitted. They scarfed down part of the snowman from earlier. Chara gloated that they knew it'd come in handy. The child straightened out, wounds... disappearing. A formidable foe, to say the least. Undyne felt her soul glowing with rage and determination. "But that doesn't mean you'll win." She shot from every possible angle, trying to pin them. Strike after strike, she felt herself failing. No, no, this can't happen. She had to win. She had to win for her friends and for the sake of the entire world. She had to win against you. I'd rather she win and you reset than see you succeed.

In one last attempt, seeing their bloodied and bruised face, she sent out her fastest spears. They struck and pierced through them, eliciting a high-pitched scream. Finally. Undyne felt herself relaxing, but she relaxed too soon. The child wrenched the spear out of them and charged at her with it, slamming into her at full force. She got knocked back, the force of the spear making her sputter out a choke. A moment after she landed, she laughed a little. This was it... this was... the end. The end. The end is never the end is never the end is never the end is n

"Damn it… so even THAT power… it wasn’t enough…?... Heh… heheheh…. if you… if you think I’m gonna give up hope, you’re wrong..." She grinned her widest, most sincere smile. The child wobbled, obviously very weakened. "’Cause I’ve got my friends behind me," she continued, exerting the last of her effort. Drops of sweat ran down her face. The human looked confused.

"Friends?" They couldn't remember what that word even meant anymore.

"Alphys told me that she would watch me fight you and if anything went wrong, she would evacuate everyone… by now she’s called Asgore and told him to absorb the 6 human SOULs. And with that power…" She choked again, noticing her lower half... melting. These would be her last words... The child stood weakly over her, and with one last grin, she spat out, "This world will live on…!"

They didn't care. They had won. With a wicked grin, they sifted through her dust, kicking it up in joy. Finally! They won! They won they won the-

*********

Ash and bone, blood and rust, charcoal and sugar, the cauldron of hell bubbling and boiling and burning their feet. Barricades, barricades, electric impassible fields. The lab, the lab! A sign of solace from the heat. The good doc always kept it air conditioned and stocked with ramen. But, sadly, as the doors whooshed open, they realized that there was no relief. Just sticky, stale air, warm and hospital-scented. Their nose scrunched up involuntarily. 

Hospitals. 

Frisk had been in hospitals too many times.

Chara... can't even remember.

Either way, it made them cringe. They rummaged through the fridge, taking a pack of instant noodles from inside.  _They're better dry._ The robot said a few words, I forget. I can't find my notes from this scene... Ah, who cares, he was there and then gone again, scared of the seven-

**Eight.**

Eight year old in a tutu. Shame on you, Mettaton, I thought better of you. But the star runs away, and our dearest Chara (Frisk?) continues to stagger forward, into the horrific sweltering fever of Hotland. 

It is their second time there. 

It seemed all too easy for the to get to the hotel- all the puzzles and traps they previously had to go through had been cut off or destroyed. Just like the button in Snowdin, the flowers in Waterfall... someone had been here. Someone was helping. Charred vines and leaves. Blood and rust. Fire and brimstone. The two lovers. Don't make them laugh. Vines and leaves, blood and rust, fire and brimstone. The pit of lava below felt like a perfect fit for our... antagonist. Truly, only a sadistic mind would force them through this. But they had stopped crying.

At least they had stopped crying. Stop crying. Stop crying, it's okay. It's okay, child. You can stop crying now, Frisk. The heat makes it unbearable. The death makes it unbearable, but you can stop crying. I can stop crying now. 

They munched on a spider donut.

*********

What a nightmare. The mercenaries, gone. The citizens, gone. A step into the forbidden land and the forgotten ashes. A nightmare. Leaves. Vines. Blood. Rust. Electricity crackled in the air. They don't remember it being this easy. Leaves. Vines. A hollow wind in the CORE. L'appele du vide. Twenty left. Ten. Five. Three. One. Their fingers gripped the railing. L'appele du vide. It spoke their names. The air was cool. It tasted like rain.

The inevitable was to come. Can they SAVE now?

...alright. Have it your way. Press forward, young one. I can only wish you luck.

*********

The sound of approaching footsteps echoed in the chamber.

"MY, MY. SO YOU'VE FINALLY ARRIVED." The robotic voice bounced off the walls. He spun dramatically around. The human looked far more menacing up close, despite being a child. A tired, red look seemed to cover their face, and their clothing was... covered in blood and dust. Blood and rust, blood and dust. "AFTER OUR FIRST MEETING, I REALIZED SOMETHING... GHASTLY. YOU'RE NOT JUST A THREAT TO MONSTERS, BUT TO HUMANITY AS WELL." Despite his confidence, he could feel his speakers shaking. Maybe not from fear, but from rage. "OH MY. THAT'S AN ISSUE. YOU SEE, I CAN'T BE A STAR WITHOUT AN AUDIENCE."

The child stepped closer, unaffected by his words. "Get out of my way."

"AND BESIDES... THERE ARE SOME PEOPLE... I WANT TO PROTECT." They took another step forward. Glaring. Hand gripped around the knife. Ah, but relax. That will not be our weapon today. "AH HA HA. EAGER AS ALWAYS, EH? BUT DON'T TOUCH THAT DIAL. THERE'S SOMETHING YOU HAVEN'T ACCOUNTED FOR. AS ANY TRUE FAN WOULD KNOW, I WAS FIRST CREATED AS A HUMAN ERADICATION ROBOT. IT WAS ONLY AFTER BECOMING A STAR THAT I WAS GIVEN A MORE... PHOTOGENIC BODY. HOWEVER. THOSE ORIGINAL FUNCTIONS HAVE NEVER BEEN FULLY REMOVED... COME ANY CLOSER, AND I'LL BE FORCED TO SHOW YOU... MY TRUE FORM!"

The child glowered, stepping forward. "Fuck you. I'm not afraid of a stupid robot..."

"FINE THEN! RRRRREADY? IIIIIT'S SHOWTIME!!!"

A flash of light burst across the room. Mettaton unfolded, his chassis rearranging into something... pointier. Grand shoulder blades flipped out, custom built with spotlights underneath to give the illusion of wings. One arm had a laser cannon, the other, a sharp, pointed glove. His hair swung outwards, flipping over to one side, but the shining glow of his right eye still got through. Even his boots were pointy. Stage lights blared. Mettaton smirked, shaking out his form.

"AH, HOW NICE. DR. ALPHYS' GREATEST INVENTION... ME!" Mettaton Neo towered over the child.

A single emotion crossed their face: annoyance. Somewhere, far away under the protection of the Capitol, a crowd of monsters gathered around a television set. They cheered him on, and in his heart, Neo could feel it. I can feel it, too. You? Don't care. One last performance for the fans, right? It would be a grand show.

But in a single swipe of a leg, the child, dressed in ballerina slippers and a cowboy hat, Neo collapsed. He silently cursed his lack of defenses. He had wrongly assumed that his Neo form would be enough to intimidate the child. And somewhere, that crowd of monsters fell silent. A single tear rolled down Mettaton's face.

"GH... GUESS YOU DON'T WANT TO BE A PART OF MY FAN CLUB?" He managed one last smile.

"Nope," the child whispered with a determined grin.

Mettaton made a quick farewell to life and his lovely body, before exploding in a shower of dust.

 

 

It's quiet.

The dust rains like snow. They blink it out of their eyelashes. Curiosity gets the better of them, and they stick their tongue out to taste. Copper pennies and strawberries. Metal and magic. It's quiet. The stage lights have dimmed. They drag themselves to the elevator. They sit. They remove the slippers, the hat, and anything else unnecessary.  _Soon._ With a gentle pat, they part with their weapons. 

They do not take the knife.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what the heck happened to line breaks in rich text ??
> 
> also, i copied bits and pieces from my other works, The Armored Heart and Neo-Lisztomania. check 'em out if you want to. some bits are also inspired by other various works on the site, so.. yeah...


	11. Holy City

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leaves and vines, thorns and petals, brick and mortar. Color against the gray.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a slow moving, long, and sad chapter.
> 
> being the Narrator for this... having been the Player, once... and being a Reader to so many other fics...
> 
> this rests heavy in my heart.

It's quiet uptown. Not even any wind. Silence and the sound of footsteps. Pat, pat. Softened soles of shoes on the marble, winding up the castle. On one front, you can look out and see the faint blue glow of Waterfall. On either of the sides, you can see the blinding white in the distance of Snowfall and the searing heat of Hotland. And, on the other front, hidden away. The Capitol. Barricaded doors and windows, though, too far for you to travel anyway. It doesn't matter. You have something that needs taking care of. You need to go home, now.

It's a long, long walk home.

Home had lost all its original color and luster, having faded to the same depressing gray as the rest of the streets Chara had once run through. The same morbid ash of the buildings Asriel ran a paw across. The exact dismal slate of the world they had lived in, a world that once had color. A city revered as the city of angels, the holy city. The Capitol, once said to be the place where the angel would save all of monsterkind, now says nothing at all.

They stood in the parlor. No matter how you looked at it, getting down the stairwell was impossible without the keys. They're in the kitchen and hallway. You opted to turn them to the kitchen, first. When stepping into the living room, just past the old reading chair, an amazing flash of green and yellow popped up from beneath the floorboards.

"Howdy, Chara! You finally made it home. Remember when we used to play here?" The memories were fuzzy, but... yes, they did. With a blank expression, they nodded. "Hee hee hee... today's gonna be just as fun." And Asr- Flowey slithered back underneath. They stared at the spot for a moment and let out a breath they didn't realize they were holding, then pressed on. They shoved a stool up to the counter and climbed up.

"Oh, you're quite good at that!" Their fingers fumbled, key slipping and clanking against the linoleum. They turned their head back towards the stove-

But nobody came. 

The child blinked back tears, shuffled down from the stool, and picked up the key. For some reason, when they were exiting, they decided to check the fridge. No chocolates. With a shaky sigh, they closed the door, and continued onwards. Depression is a funny little thing, isn't it? Going from feeling cold and emotionless to feeling too much. Dead. Alive. Ghosts. A weird inbetween. Limbo. Speaking of, Flowey was leaning against the doorframe of the living room. 

"I remember when i first woke up here, in the garden. I was so scared." His voice was barely above that of a whisper. "I couldn't feel my arms or legs. My entire body had turned into a flower! 'Mom! Dad! Somebody, please, help me!' I cried out. But nobody came." And back down between the slats he went. Alone in the world. The three of them, the parallels. Falling. Waking up. Can't feel their arms. Can't feel their legs. Can't feel their body. Call out for help. But nobody came.

The bedroom. Two boxes, by each of their beds. The locket by Asriel's. Chara lifted the chain over their head, and against their chest it rested. Right where it belongs. The knife by theirs. About time. In reality, it was a worn dagger. Edges rusted and jagged. Any good chef knows that a sharp knife is safer than a dull knife. But they didn't need this for safety. A worn dagger in the hands of a broken child would become a weapon of patricide.

The cides have been committed: suicide, matricide, sororicide, fratricide, homicide, genocide. All would be lost. 

The door closed with an almost inaudible click, and there Flowey was again. Continuing his story. "Eventually, the king found me, crying in the garden. I explained what had happened to him. Then he held me, Chara." His voice cracked. "He held me with tears in his eyes, saying... 'There, there. Everything is going to be alright.' He was so..." Flowey looked to the ground. "Emotional. But... for some reason... I didn't feel anything at all." And then he was gone. The gold key rest atop the drawers. It joined its twin on their keychain. Why are you making them go-? Oh, alright. They looked in the mirror at the end of the hall. Delicate fingers touched the thin layer of dust that blurred their image.

The faces of their past. Papyrus. Kida. Napstablook. Mad dummy. Toriel. Undyne. Alphys. Mettaton. Heats Flamesman. The royal guards. Grillby. Nicecream guy. Catty and Bratty. Muffet. And... someone else. It's me, Chara. Don't cry, little one. It's me.

I have just been informed that I'm not allowed to be a part of the story anymore. I'm the one writing it, aren't I? Why can't I- Oh, bother, it's no use arguing with you. I remove myself from the story, and Chara stumbled away, feeling confused and empty. Chara unlocked the chain. Down the steps they tumbled, feet heavy on the uncarpeted wood. Flowey's voice called up from the landing.

"I soon realized I didn't feel ANYTHING about ANYONE. My compassion had disappeared!" His leaves fluttered out. Poof! "And believe me, it's not like I wasn't trying. I wasted weeks with that stupid king, vainly hoping I would feel something. But it became too much for me. I ran away from home. Eventually, I reached the RUINS. Inside I found HER, Chara." Toriel. "I thought of all people SHE could make me feel whole again." Smiling. "She failed." Morose. "Ha Ha..." Chara grunted and stepped around him. Flowey followed behind, telling his story. 

"I realized those two were useless. I became despondent. I just wanted to love someone. I just wanted to care about someone. Chara, you might not believe this... but I decided... It wasn't worth living anymore." They paused, turning to look down at him. "Not in a world without love. Not in a world without you. So... I decided to follow in your footsteps. I would erase myself from existence. And you know what? I succeeded." They started to open their mouth, like they were going to say something, but instead, their jaw hung slack.

"...Az..." The way they croaked out his name was barely discernible. They shook themselves of the feeling, and kept walking. The basement hallways were always so... dreary.

"But as I left this mortal coil, I felt... apprehensive. If you don't have a SOUL, what happens when you...? Something primal started to burn in me. 'No!' I thought. 'I don't want to die!'...Then I woke up. Like it was all just a bad dream. I was back at the garden. Back at my 'save point'." This... They know. They know. And it hurts. They turned a corner. "Interested, I started to experiment. Again and again, I brought myself to the edge of death. At any point, I could have let this world continue on without me. But as long as I was determined to live... I could go back. Amazing, isn't it, Chara? I was amazed, too." They weren't too amazed. Listening to something you already know about is more annoying than anything. "At first, I used my powers for good. I became 'friends' with everyone. I solved all their problems flawlessly. Their companionship was amusing... for a while. As time repeated, people proved themselves predictable. What would this person say if I gave them this? What would they do if I said this to them? Once you know the answer, that's it. That's all they are." 

No. It's not. Nothing is predictable. "It all started because I was curious. Curious what would happen if I killed them. 'I don't like this,' I told myself. 'I'm just doing this because I HAVE to know what happens.' Ha ha ha... What an excuse! You of all people must know how liberating this feels." They clenched a fist around the hilt of the dagger. It's not liberating, in fact. They were trapped in this loop. Imprisoned. "At least we're better than those sickos that stand around and WATCH it happen... Those pathetic people that want to see it, but are too weak to do it themselves. I bet someone like that is watching this right now, aren't they...?"

It appears our characters are self-aware. I'm giving you a look right now, I hope you know. It's not a nice one. The air opened to show the view of the city.

"Nowadays, even that's grown tiring. You understand, Chara." No, they don't. "I've done everything this world has to offer. I've read every book. I've burned every book. I've won every game. I've lost every game. I've appeased everyone. I've killed everyone. Sets of numbers... lines of dialogue... I've seen them all. But you... You're different. I never could predict YOU, Chara." Of COURSE you couldn't! Because! Someone! Reset! The timeline!! Frisk was supposed to be happy! Chara was supposed to be happy! They were going to be happy and Chara would remain a ghost in Frisk and help them in tough times and YOU RUINED IT ALL!

.... I'm sorry.

"When I saw you in the RUINS, I didn't recognize you." The lack of a green and yellow striped sweater tipped you off, eh? "I thought I could frighten you, then steal your SOUL. I failed. And when I tried to load my save file... It didn't work. Chara... your DETERMINATION! Somehow, it's even greater than mine!" Ever forward. The city screamed in silence. "I just have one question for you, Chara. How did you get back to the RUINS from here..? ...Wait. I know. She must have taken you when she left." What? "And given you a proper burial... rather than hanging out in the basement forever." Double what? The basement... ...The basement. Where the other humans... Toriel wanted to bury Chara. Those coffins are as comfortable as they look.

"But... why then..? What made you wake up? Did you hear me calling you...?"

No. Well. Yes, but, mostly, no. Chara was tired. Chara was afraid. Chara saw Frisk fall. A look-alike, a body double. Frisk... Didn't survive the fall. Not technically. Chara, with regret in their heart, and determination in their soul, possessed Frisk. It wasn't they who awoke, but Frisk. They just wanted to live again. "It doesn't matter now. I'm so tired of this, Chara. I'm tired of all these people. I'm tired of all these places." Yeah, so are they. They made a small nod of agreement. "I'm tired of being a flower. Chara. There's just one last thing I want to do. Let's finish what we started. Let's free everyone. Then... let's see what humanity is REALLY like! That... despite it all.. This world is still 'kill or be killed'!!"

Sorry, Flowey. It doesn't look like that will happen. These children have seen and lived enough death to satisfy many years worth. Ever forward.

"Then...? Well. I had... Been entertaining a few ways to use that power. Hee hee hee..." The grin in his words was filled with malice. "But seeing you here changed my mind. Chara... I think that if you're around... just living in the surface world doesn't seem so bad."

 _Make up your mind, you stupid flower._ This was growing from annoyance to frustration. Chara had had enough of Flowey. Of Asriel. He was like this when he wasn't a flower, too... "We don't even need to leave to get them this time. The king has six of them locked away. I've tried hundreds of ways to get him to show me them... Chara. I know he'll do it for YOU."

"...Why are you telling me all of this?" A cracked, hoarse whisper.

"Why am I telling you all of this? Chara, I've said it before... Even after all this time... You're still the only one that understands me. You won't give me any worthless pity!" Their face lit up with an idea.

"No, you're right... I won't." End of the line. Only a few more steps till the turn. They spun and faced the flower, glowering.

"Creatures like us... Wouldn't hesitate to KILL each other if we got in each other's way. So that's..." Fingers clenched around the hilt. "So... that's...why..." Chara resonated a vile aura. "Ha..... ha... What's this feeling? Why am I shaking?" The knife slid out the belt loop. "Hey... Chara... No hard feelings about back then, right?"

"Oh, no, no hard feelings.. Very rigid... and SOLID-" They whipped the knife up, shoving the tip in his face. "Feelings..."

"... H-hey! What are you doing?! B...back off!" He burrowed into the ground just as Chara's knife hit, the tip snapping off. They swore, turning at the sound of his voice behind them. "I...I've changed my mind about all this. This isn't a good idea anymore. You should go back, Chara. This place is fine the way it is!" Their grin held hostility, insanity. "... S-s-stop making that creepy face!"

"Hah... hahah..." The laugh bubbled up and boiled over. Eyes wide, red.

"This isn't funny! You've got a SICK sense of humor!"

 

 

and then he was gone

 

 

 

Ascend the stairs. Gold light filtering in. Gleaming off the knife. A pause at the landing.

You SAVED.

Quiet shuffling down the corridor.

A presence phasing in.

 

 

 

"heya. you've been busy, huh?"


	12. Whispering of the Trees

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The true battle has begun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm posting this early because I'm apparently not doing all the things I thought I was

They glanced to the side, looking miffed. Sans. They forgot about Sans. All the times they felt a pair of eyes boring holes into their heads...

"so, i've got a question for ya." All the times they heard a rustling in the shadows...

"do you think even the worst person can change...?" All the times they called out to show their face...

"that everybody can be a good person, if they try?"

...But nobody came.

They took a single step forward, raising a bloodied knife. Their own blood. Dried and stained. _Chara..._ Everything, from their hair to their boots, _Chara!_ had a layer of dust on it. _Chara!!_ "Shut up."

"heh heh heh heh... all right." _Chara, please, listen to me..._  "well, here's a better question. do you wanna have a bad time?"

A flicker of recognition crossed their eyes before dropping back off into their cold stare.

"'cause if you take another step forward... you are REALLY not gonna like what happens next." Another step. Their wrist flicked back and forth, anxious. "welp. sorry, old lady. this is why i never make promises." He took a deep breath, tasting the pollen in the air. "it's a beautiful day outside. birds are singing, flowers are blooming... on days like these, kids like you..."

**"SHOULD BURN IN HELL."**

Please, no.

Sans merely blinked and took full gravitational control over them, raising them up into the air for a split second and then sending them crashing into the ground. Bones speared up through the ground, and jump as they might, they still left nasty gashes on their arms and legs. It hurts. Then came the waves. Sans snapped a finger, letting his magical grip on them go, and then sent the bones forth. They barely dodged the barrage of crashes. They trembled, standing shakily and collapsing once again. They were bleeding out too fast to do much of anything. Sans summoned forth four of his now most prized possessions. They circled the human, and in a flash of blinding white light, Sans heard the human's soul crack in two.

It took approximately ten seconds for you to LOAD.

...What? Why aren't you resetting? Did something finally make you break? Did you finally understand what LOADing is for? I though you wanted to keep hurting them in this way... well, I guess you'll still be hurting them with this.

Sans cracked his neck. Time for the same old song and dance. He would be here a while.

"heya." They snarled. "you look frustrated about something. guess i'm pretty good at my job, huh?" Lather, rinse repeat. Blood and rust. Sans was surprised that they were able to dodge the first round of attacks this time, but they were barely hanging on by a thread. "huh. always wondered why people never used their strongest attacks first."

"Predictable," they spat, lunging forward. Sans stepped to the side.

"what, you think i'm just gonna stand there and take it?" Wave after wave, jump after jump. You're quite apt at dodging these. Your determination allows you to outrun your karma for your sins briefly. As the HP lowered, they shoved a sandwich into their mouths, swinging their knife around haphazardly.

"anyway. as i was saying," Sans stepped aside, "it's a nice day outside. why not relax and take a load off?"

"Nngh." They rolled away from the next attack. Their fighting arm was nearly torn straight off. In their eyes was a hint of fear. Your fingers tremble. You can feel your sins crawling on your back. Good.

They tossed the knife into their other hand. But they couldn't even survive the next two seconds.

You loaded again, stabbing at the empty air where Sans stood.

"our reports showed a massive anomaly in the timespace continuum. timelines jumping left and right, stopping and starting..." They panted, barely scraping by. Shots from the blasters came at them from every angle, nearly tearing them asunder. Still, they persisted. "until suddenly, everything ends."

A scream rang out from their lungs before being cut short with a quick stab through the torso with another pointed bone. Until everything ends. A forced hand in their life. Sans was already sick of this. He stared out the window, sighing, wishing, praying, that they wouldn't come back. But speak of the devil and you shall load, right? With another swipe, the child barely missed his face. He continued.

"heh heh heh. that's your fault, isn't it?" Which 'you' are you talking to, Sans? They spun out of the way of a falling column. Sans was resorting to using everything, if he had to.

"you can't understand how this feels! knowing that one day, without any warning -"

A blaster rammed into the child -

"it's all going to be reset!"

-and knocked them back against the wall.

Sans, no. Please. I can't bear to watch this anymore. They know. Boy, do they know. This all started without warning. They were home, they were happy. They were away from their forgotten family. Sans, they know.

He shot spear-headed bones at them, not to kill, but to keep them in place. He shivered with a chuckle, tears forming in his eyes. "look. i gave up trying to go back a long time ago." He knew the consequences. They knew the consequences. Allowing themselves to love. To feel. What was the point, if a player can enter the game and just reset? "and getting to the surface doesn't really appeal, either." They thrashed wildly, trying to break free of the prison. "'cause even if we do... we'll just end up right back here, without any memory of it, right?... but not me."

A blaster hovered menacingly close to their face. They stared it down with no fear. You're lying, Sans. You DID forget. A true reset left your mind completely wiped. They remembered you. You only remembered what happened after the true reset, Sans. But them? Me? The Player? We remember. We remember it all.

"you see, uh, i remember. much like my father before me, i have a gift for remembering. now my brother, you know, the one you killed, he, uh, was not as gifted as myself. but man, did he ever have a talent for making new things. like this attack." He wrenched the child out of the prison, sending them flying across the hall into a pile of rubble. "you know, the one you never got to see?" They had seen it. "because, unlike myself, Papyrus would have never hurt you." They know. "and time and time again, he let you go. he spared you because he believed you could be a better fucking person than that." The child struggled to sit up.

 _Chara, we can be better._ They didn't respond. Arms weak. Head spinning. Blood and rust. Brick and mortar. Marble and stone.

"to be blunt, it kinda makes it hard for me to give it my all." He once again released his grip. They choked in a much needed breath. "...or is that just a poor excuse for being lazy? hell if i know."

 _Chara, please. How is the world supposed to remember us..._ They blinked back tears. Their grip on the weapon loosened. Half of them wanted to get up, to keep fighting, the other half?  _...If there's no one left in it?_

"all i know is... seeing what comes next? i can't afford to not care anymore."

The malicious half won. They shot up and screamed towards him, slashing fruitlessly. Frisk had been silenced, again. 

It's all your fault, all your fault!

"ugh..." Sans realized how out of shape he was. "...that being said, you, uh, really like swinging that thing around. huh?" They tossed it up a little in the air, catching the light in a blinding glimmer. Yeah, they do, but not for the reasons you think. But when it landed, they looked down to it with remorse.

He could see the cracks beginning to form.

*listen. i know you didn't answer me before, but... somewhere in there. i can feel it. there's a glimmer of a good person inside of you. the memory of someone who once wanted to do the right thing. someone who, in another time, might have even been... a friend?"

...do... you remember, Sans?

*c'mon, buddy. do you remember me?" He... remembers. "please, if you're listening... let's forget all this, ok? just lay down your weapon, and... well, my job will be a lot easier." He remembers. Do you see that? He remembers. You remember, right? He's a friend. Please, give him some MERCY.

A new look took over their face. Something lively, something... real. A new color. The ting of the knife hitting the ground echoed, and the child turned to Sans with tears in their eyes. Full of regret. _Why do you think you're in control, Frisk?_ **Let me have this... please.**  Sans stretched out his arms in a welcoming fashion. They started to run towards him, towards the embrace, but in the heart-shattering moment, Sans betrayed that innocence. He shot up a barrier of unavoidable spears, and the child fell. He hovered over the wheezing body, watching the light go out of its eyes.

"...if you really are my friend.... don't come back."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> one day i'll have to go back and edit Blue. because honestly that fic is a piece of shit
> 
> friendly reminder you commission me for art at melancholicontentment.tumblr.com  
> or for writing by messaging me at asrielking


	13. A Dragon Killed in Action

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last stand of Player One.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw for self harm and suicide in this chapter
> 
> i'm almost sick of this fic tbh i don't want to write it anymore and i've been editing for days on end to make it see right but i just  
> can't
> 
> so, here. have this.

I can feel your disbelief. The rebellion of the child. The defection of the character. No, you'd best believe it. You can try. You can try, and try, and try, and they will always know who they are. They aren't... this. What you made them. 

Children. So mouldable, so malleable. You teach a child to fish, ride a bike, read and draw, they remember it their whole lives. You hit a child and they learn fear, pain, regret. Things they don't understand. You... are an abuser. You forced them to do your bidding, and for what? Because you were bored, because you wanted to see the end? This ending is not for you. 

But I see you, now. Leaning forward, pushing Chara to the glowing neon orange LOAD.

* * *

Chara always had violent intrusive thoughts and tendencies. But it's not their fault. They're a child. But given the right outlet, the timing. Something settled deep within them when they were very young, and they don't remember it, but it was... terrifying. A reason to like the weight of a knife in their hand, or the sweet release of pain whenever they hit themselves with a stick or their fists or tore their hair out by the roots or picked at scabs. A reason to scream at the humans that birthed them. They say it takes a village, and it did. 

Chara was only eight when they were cast away. Stuffing buttercups into their hair, as is tradition, to make themselves seem prettier for whatever awaited them on the other side. A trek up the looming Mt. Ebbot. A single, angry, remorseful glance back to the town, the last lights being put to sleep at the setting sun. No one would come for them. Heaven above and hell below,  _right where they belong,_ the raspy voice of their father screamed in their ear. They clapped a hand over it, and the other, tears pricking at their eyes. It's not their fault it's not their fault there's a devil in them a demon; the cackling of an echoing wind calls your name, it calls, it calls, it calls for you, Chara, it calls for you. A village to tell the child it's broken. A village to tell the child it's wrong. A village, with everything they've done wrong, to push a child into the abyss.

They peered into the abyss. The abyss stared back. And into the maw of Hell the child fell.

* * *

Who knew that it would be your hands they would fall into. You're one of them, aren't you? From Before. What do THEY remember from Before? Not much, I'm afraid. Frisk remembers more, but ah, if you press them to LOAD, to RESET, if you go, if you try it again-!

Well, the Frisk we know, our determined little Frisk, our loving, caring, pacifist Frisk, our impressionable darling Frisk, will die. They don't have the strength for it. Chara has been to Hell and back and don't they know it. They can tough out anything. The slow, indeterminable build of time in which you allowed them to fully possess the soul that is not their own. They can handle it. All it takes is a single voice. The voice calls for you, Chara.

And so, the gun was LOADed.

I'm disappointed in you, player.

You ~~could~~  should have done better.

* * *

"you know," Sans muttered with his usual, lazy lilt, "that look on your face. that's the look of someone who's died quice in a row. quice? frice? welp, won't have to use it again anyways." I certainly hope not. I can feel your fingers tremble. He's hard. Easiest enemy in the game. One ~~hope~~ hit point. One defense. Can only deal one damage. Of course, that ignores any invincibility and attacks forty times per second. But you can't see that. You can't possibly know that. They can't possibly know that either. But he can't keep dodging, you think. Just keep going.

"Pretty sure it's just four times," they sneered.

"oh. oh well. anyway," he called forth about twenty blasters. "it's a nice day out."

Theycometheyleavetheydie

Ibelieveinyou

Idon'twanttodothisanymore

it'sanicedayout

Faster than before, something in them was broken beyond repair. Whatever side of them they had shown was dead and gone now. The last stand of Frisk. No mercy. They were swiping at Sans so quickly he could hardly keep up. He surrounded them with the bone attacks.

"sounds strange, but before all this, i was secretly hoping we could be friends." They stopped a bone from thwacking against their head by blocking it with their arm. A sickness churned in them. Friends. Friends. Friends. If we were really friends. An audible crack resonated as the blow broke their wrist. "i always thought the anomaly was doing this cause they were unhappy. and when they got what they wanted, they would stop all this."

"...Anomaly?!" A spark of curiosity flared in their eyes.

The anomaly. You, player, think it is the possession of Frisk. But I could never predict you, Chara! Sans took this opportunity of distraction to sweep a bone under their legs, knocking them down. He raised a pointed spear over their heads and sent it crashing down, but they rolled to one side.

"and maybe all they needed was... i dunno. some good food, some bad laughs, some nice friends." Beads of sweat started dripping down his face. "but that's ridiculous, right?"

A buzzing restaurant. A warmth that emanated from the very core of it. Passing ketchup and dunking fries. Not a ridiculous notion at all, Sans. It's all one could ever ask for. Except, of course, curiosity. They say that curiosity killed the cat. There's a missing part to that. I don't believe that the satisfaction brought them back. Determination to see it through till the end did. They hissed and jumped for him. He ducked low enough for them to fly into the open mouth of a blaster behind him.

"yeah. you're the type of person who won't EVER be happy."

Ooh, ouch. Yeah. He's calling you out.

The blaster spat the child out, who lept to their feet and aimed an attack at it instead of Sans. The blaster vanished before they could even touch it. "you'll keep consuming timelines over and over until. well. hey. take it from me, kid. someday... you gotta learn when to QUIT."

Mmm, I can feel you wriggling. Your dedication to this has grown weary and unsure. You've been ignoring me this whole time, yes, that voice of reason telling you to stop. They turned and charged, screaming out. Sans knocked their outreached hand aside, grabbing and twisting it until he could hear the snap of it breaking, too. The child cried out again, snarling and almost foaming at the mouth in rage.

"and that day is today." He was leaning in close, whispering to them now. "'cause, y'see... all this fighting is really tiring me out." The knife finally clattered to the ground. The familiar ting rang in the air. You have no control anymore. When did you _ever_ think you were in control? "and if you keep pushing me... then i'll be forced to use my special attack."

He finally pushed them off, throwing them onto the ground. They rolled themselves onto their back. Oh, their nose had broken, too. Blood was flowing out of it like a river. Fucker deserves it, Sans thought. They couldn't push themselves up, so instead, they raised their legs into the air, and with a heavy grunt, lept to their feet again. Their arms dangled uselessly by their sides. They shook, looking terrified but still merciless.

"Special attack, huh?" They giggled. You didn't tell them to do that. Did you? No. I certainly didn't. So this... yes. The Underground lay empty and hollow now. This is not a world you want to return to, that they want to return to. The only option....

"yeah. my special attack. sounds familiar?"

"Heehee. I think all of your attacks are special, Sans. You've almost beat me." They've broken. Chara. Frisk. A broken child.

"how sweet. well, get ready, because after the next move, i'm going to use it. so, if you don't wanna see it, now would be a good time to die."

"How thoughtful of you." They limbered forward, attempting in vain to kick him. He sniggered.

"well, here goes nothing... are you ready? survive this, and I'll show you my [Special Attack]!"

They died the instant that first blaster hit their chest. Sans felt a chill run through his entire body. Five times. Five entire deaths. There is no escape. There is only death.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I'm going to let you in on a little secret, player. I'm going to tell you how this all ends, if you continue. Because there you sit, knowing you are no longer in control of anything other than that big, fat, howling LOAD. The RESET. You have two options here, but no matter what, you lose. You lose, and you would have to watch it all die anyway. 

So I'm going to tell you this secret. If, say, you were to LOAD, and through sheer determination, they did win against Sans, well, what next? What kind of a legend would that leave behind? It wouldn't. It'd leave nothing. So they defeat Sans, and go into the throne room. Taking care of Asgore is easy. Had there been any kind of real fight, it would have gone just as it had before. Them begging him for the sweet release of death, please, please, kill me, Asgore -

Oh wait. Except, that's not how it went at all. They begged him to stop fighting. There was no need to. I'm sure that if you LOAD, they'll  _purposefully_ lose to Sans. They'll throw themselves right into there just to see themselves die again. Yes, they want to die. After all, there is nothing for them to go back to. Even if they got through to the end, Chara would thank you. They'd thank you for letting them come to fully realize their true power. That they cannot allow Frisk back into the human world. After all of that pain and death, it's just cruel. So the only option is to reset the world.

Would you forsake your soul to return it to what it once was?

No?

I didn't think so.

So there you have it, player. Your ending. Now you can either do the right thing, reset, let them live their lives, or....

...well. You know.

 

I'll be waiting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ooh line breaks are back v nice


	14. Together In Peace With You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time we set things right

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the final chapter of :||:  
> you have stuck through this fic, which started of being a beacon of broken prose and broken hearts, turning into a gut-wrenching story of how a child is manipulated into thinking there's only one way out of this: through cold, ruthless murder.  
> so, this was the prequel to Merciless, and obviously works in and out of it all. I'll be adding it to the series and reordering it later.

A dark silence looms over the Underground.

Whispers call from the hidey-holes and caverns:

"Is it safe to come out now?"

"Are they gone?"

"Are we free?"

 

Free from terror, do you mean?

 

Yes... you sat there for a long, long time, my friend. Contemplating. Furrowing your brows and wondering if this truly was the right thing to do. So you took your time, I get it. You knew the ending and took your time. You... your DETERMINATION! Well, I must commend you on that. It was unlike anything I'd ever seen. Resetting and brute forcing your way through everything despite the slightest of screw ups is not an easy thing to do.

But I kept hoping that you'd do the right thing with each reset.

Eventually, I lost hope. I had to break myself out of my little cage of narration and confront you, player.

 

But now, I'm glad. You've come with me, and I can go together in peace with you.

 

Now.

 

Now is the time.

 

We reach forth in the darkness, four hands. Chara. Frisk. You. And me. And we set things right.

* * *

 

Once upon a time, there were two races: Humans, and Monsters. One day, a war broke out...

* * *

 

 

A single light filters in through the ceiling. Fingers pull at golden flowers, plucking at their petals. A quiet hum of magic flows through every inch of the place: so alive. So very alive. Through the quiet breaks a voice.

"Hello, Frisk."

_Hello, Chara._

"I am sorry for what I did."

_Everyone deserves a second chance._

The child awoke, and so their road to redemption began.

 

Thank you, player. I will see you again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> after this i'm taking a break from angst and basically rewriting the entirety of Blue. Once I have I'll delete and reupload it so that it works much smoother with the story, but also is unique in that it's from Sans' perspective. 
> 
> and then i'll rewrite everything in neutralization but i kind of...want to not?  
> i have other things i want to write  
> like uprooted  
> BUT WE'LL SEE


End file.
